I first saw her in the dawn of my childhood. White, pristine, a thing of beauty, and she was mine, all mine. I named my mare Illusion.
“That’s great,” everyone told me. “Enjoy it while you can. Soon, you’ll have to give it up and be like the rest of us.” They seemed like they were happy for me; I didn’t see the envy in their smiles.
So I did. I woke up in the morning and went running to my mare. I rode her all day, only coming in for lunch and water. Clinging tight to her mane, flapping like feathers in the wind, we galloped through fields and valleys and cloud-covered plains. Illusion and I galloped all day, till the sun went away. I never felt so much freedom as I did with my mare; together, we could go anywhere.
Then I forgot her. I listened to what everyone told me, and set my mind to other things. She died and I didnt even mourn her. I thought that’s what adults were supposed to do.
But she came back to me in my dreams. We would ride together across new landscapes, which neither of us had seen. Exploring together, and now she had wings. We were bound by less than even before, free to glimpse the world with a view from the skies.
Still they told me, “you can’t be wasting your time. There’s too much else to be done.” I didn’t believe them, but I listened anyway. At least, I tried.
I got a job, I bought useless shit, I accrued some debt, I paid the debt, I bought more useless shit, and society deemed me worthy. I went around in the circle of delusion, dancing to the same tune as everyone else. Yet, still I wasn’t happy.
The only thing that made me happy was flying with my mare, across snow-glittered peaks and through blue misty clouds. Streamlining with the geese on their perpetual march south, to the lands of blissful warmth, with lakes steaming from beneath. Soaring to steep heights trying to get a taste of sun, or at least bask in its warmth until we absorbed it into our being. Then I got an idea and set to work.
Putting my pen to paper, I brought to life all the adventures we’d had, my mare and I, because what is a joy if it’s not worth sharing? And I brought them to life for the people who told me I had to do something meaningful with my life, to show them what meaningful meant to me.
Now everyone is happy and joins me in flight, and they’ve given up their lives they realized were just lies. For true happiness I showed them, and I’m happy to share it with all, is on the wings of my Illusion.
Take my hand, close your eyes, and take flight.